Its kinda funny how I speak of myself as an artist, even as a job description, but rarely do I actually practice or use my art as a vehicle for self expression as I once did. But today, I find it so much easier to be in the business of busyness: doing chores, making lists, daily tasks even art for clients. Yet, I've been noticing a yearning, a heart calling, even a slight pain in my chest the last few days. And what I tried to dismiss as stress or tiredness grew into a deep need to find my creative soul again. The beautiful part of this discovery comes from you. You (and this blog) are the reason I began to search within to really ask myself what was truly going on. I had a momentary temptation to do a post with pretty pictures that was disconnected from my true heart, but I remembered you and your encouragement of me along this creative journey. So I come to you with my genuine "not so put together" self today to say "Thank You". Thank you for being my friends, cheerleaders, and soul sisters.
And to ask... what do you do to help yourself express your true self instead of repressing it?
image: heather spriggs thompson ( digital still from a performance piece entitled " Deflation" Senior Thesis 2005)
This image of you is on a whole other level - it's haunting and loaded with meaning. And still beautiful.
As to your question, I tend to fall on the other end of the spectrum. I ooze out around everyone, all the time. My challenge is not reacting so much to the stimulus around me and remaining grounded.
Posted by: Brigitte | September 23, 2010 at 08:51 AM
geesh, heather, you're deep!!! i do understand the feeling, though, as i have been so busy for months that i don't ever do anything for myself (other than for my business) - and if i do, i feel so guilty - i really need to carve out time to gild a little chair for my office - something i've wanted to do, but it just continues to sit there.
Posted by: [email protected] | September 23, 2010 at 09:26 AM
I struggle with this regularly as well. Then I started reading more White Hot Truth, participated in the 21.5.800 project through Bindu Wiles, and did The August Break with Susannah Conway and many others. These things have helped me break out of that shell a little bit, on my blog at least. I share more of myself now and have been getting so much more response than I did with pretty pictures all alone. I'm not sure if this answers your question so much but I hope it gives you a little encouragement to be true to yourself because good will come out of it.
Posted by: Bria | September 23, 2010 at 09:47 AM
heather-
i have all the faith in the world that you will find a way to fill this void.
keep journaling and it will come. and wether you come up with an idea for a performance, installation, painting or other i encourage you to do it, make it, create it for the sole purpose of doing it just for you and you alone.
Posted by: Eve Peach | September 23, 2010 at 09:50 AM
the phrase "the business of busyness" really hit home for me today! you have left me doing some real thinking this morning and I thank you for that. time to put aside all of the stuff, at least for an hour a day, and try to let the creative spirit back in. good luck with your journey
ps reading your blog everyday is always good for my soul
Posted by: Kathi | September 23, 2010 at 11:08 AM
This post is music to my ears; something I've been waiting for and longing to hear from you for a long time. To think that your inner desires had to get to the point of creating a literal pain in your chest makes me hurt for you...but if that is what it took to "find your creative soul" again, then I welcome it, dearest. I'm proud of you & think of this as a type of rebirth of the talents you've been given. I saw that dress in your closet last week and remembered you telling me about this picture years ago. Thank you for having the guts to share it with us. Nothing is more attractive and inviting than a raw and genuine heart.
Posted by: Ginny | September 23, 2010 at 08:50 PM