Inspired to Intimidated?

Do you find yourself transitioning out of inspiration and into intimidation when you read blogs, magazines or just spend time perusing the web? Its such a fine line from one to the other and I raise my hand high on this one... "Yes!" I have struggled with this for many years. In fact, I have to be very selective with what I read. For me, there are certain people that I long to emulate. Sometimes I go so far as to wonder if they are living the life I was supposed to live but somehow I tripped up miserably in the process.  "Maybe they never had anything bad happen to them", I fantasize. Or , I know, one of my favorites: "Maybe I am just lazy".

When I began verbalizing these thoughts to my friends or loved ones, I learned that I was not alone. I wasn't just a giant failure! And then the thought occurred to me that if this is how we were feeling, then its possible that my heros have bad days too. Days where they feel like they aren't measuring up. Maybe they feel a ton of pressure to be fabulous every moment. And maybe we only see one facet of their lives. (making assumptions about the rest). Since we are all human.

So if you had any disillusions about me, I am here to say that I am a work in progress. I am not where I want to be, but taking small steps everyday to get there. Its hard (work). Not only the risk in moving forward but also keeping the enemy voices at bay. Refusing to believe the lies that tell us we aren't going to measure up. 

This is a wonderful and magical time of year, the web is aglow and abuzz with so many creative ideas,  with new magazines launching overnight, new blogs being born, new products being produced.  So how do you take them in as objects of desire (of hope) to use for inspiration rather than intimidation?

images: sanctuary blog, mary ruffle tumblr

Comments

[Ashley Sisk]

What a wonderful post - I know exactly how you feel...my life certainly isn't perfect but I believe there is beauty in that. I grew up wanting to be a people pleaser...I just wanted to make people happy by doing good things. Of course I rebelled in order to find myself. I'm so much more content now than ever before because I know who I am and who I want to become. It's empowering and I try not to stack myself up against others...competing has never done anything for anyone so I just try to be true to me. The rest follows. Besides, in this world, there are no winners...just community.

[Kat]

Heather
An insightful post, again a pleasure to read your thoughts sweetie.
I recognise the similar feelings that everyone shares whether blogging or just living. The feeling of " Am I good enough"
I guess it's all about our self worth and self acceptance isn't it.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling down sometimes after being in blogs. I think it's similar too with magazines. They portray a "perfect life".
I think somehow I only return to the blogs that pick me up not make me feel down. It's not always about content but the energy of the person behind them.
Thanks for the opportunity to reflect today
Kathryn x

[Zee]

There are days that I feel so mentally tired looking at what's available online. I think we all have these feelings. I don't go around blogland very often. Sometimes I pick 3-5 blogs to read from my link list and I don't mind if they reciprocate or not. I quit reading many mommy/crafty blogs because I know how hard is to be creative, to nurture and, to have 1001 activities all day and these blogs made me feel less competent and I understood that I am no different. Most of people only show the bright side of life and I don't blame anyone. I don't show much of my "secret" life either! For strangers? No, thanks! A tiny bit doesn't hurt, but I will never be that deep.

I just have a different pace. I can't allow these bloggers to make me feel bad. If there is a blogger that have tons of time to blog amazing things and write a bunch, good for them. I decided that I want to blog slowly and when I feel like it. Some people do it for a living, they don't have kids and they do whatever they want with their time. Their life is different.

It's difficult do not feel intimidated. I take blogs just like a magazine that I buy at the grocery shop. Seriously, most of them. I don't try to connect to these bloggers like I used to. In the past I tried and I got hurt. Because there are groups here and there. Selected niches. Closed ones. My aesthetics is not what they like and it doesn't matter if I am a good person. I enjoy my blog list and they are very inspiring and I admire them as artists. I don't expect to be alike or to connect to them.

:D

[Heather]

Ashely, Thank you for stopping by and for sharing your personal wisdom on this matter. I love your last line" Besides, in this world, there are no winners...just community." I want to make a poster of that and hang it on my wall above my desk!! :)

[Krista]

Yes, I have felt those things too. For sure. :-) A dear friend told me a while back, "You don't have to be amazing to have a beautiful life." It was the best thing he could've said. It freed me so much and now I can just putter along, creating beauty when I can, delighting in the beauty others create. I see your work, the things others do, as gifts to me. I can't believe I can just open my computer and find such glorious pictures and words to delight, challenge and inspire me. You are a beautiful person, Heather, and if this is all you do every day, you have enriched my life immeasurably. :-) That's one person whose life is better because you are in it. :-) And I know there are many more.

[manvi]

Heather - such a touching and beautiful post.
I find myself constantly in a similar situation. Infact with so much going on around us, its hard to not feel this way.

In these situations, i just take a break from the internet and focus on just doing things for me. like something creative that i have not done before or try to get better at photography etc.
Ashley - I agree with heather- that WOULD make an excellent poster.

Thanks for sharing!!

[Ginny]

Wow. I think I can cancel my counseling appointment now. Reading this post and these comments has been just the medicine my heart needs.

[Lrntn.wordpress.com]

Thanks for this post ! (I come here now and then for general inspiration, though what I do is totally different, and mostly just for myself). I think the scariest thing for me is not so much that I get intimidated, but that I feel "blah" and even lose interest in the blogs I follow. Which when I try to take a mini break. But yes, can identify with all of your thoughts. Thanks again

[lindsay]

I'm so glad to hear you say these things. There are so many times that I walk away from blogging because of "blog envy". I feel intimidated and sometimes down right jealous of what others are showing on their blogs.

Then I remind myself that we are all a work in progress (especially me sometimes!). We all have different resources, gifts, talents, budgets, and sources of encouragement in our lives. Then I feel better and keep on keepin' on.

I truly enjoy seeing the interesting and create things people work on---be it their home, art, crafts etc. From other's creativity I glean confidence to say hey---yes I CAN: hang a chair on a wall/paint a hutch without priming first/make curtains myself. On the same note...while I often fancy shmancy design blogs I try to avoid ones that have a rather heartless overtone (eg "Why would anyone put personal photos in their home. It's horrible design." yes people like that are out there---and they make such pretty rooms. its a shame.) I also try to use my time reading blogs that are open, honest and sound like someone I'd want to be friends with. They other ones, pretty as they may be, I try to leave alone. I can see pretty rooms in magazines with out the 'tude.

Thanks for your sharing your thoughts! It's nice not to be alone!

[Shannon of ** Happiness Is...**]

I usually say, if they can do it, so can I! Success isn't a limited resource :) xo

[Rachel Follett]

Beautiful post Heather! I know exactly where you are coming from. I can't help to feel envious of talented designers out there and I try hard to look at their work as inspiration rather than intimidation. It's a constant battle in my head and it mostly makes me want to push myself harder. Nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way. :)

[Traveling Mama]

I realized a funny thing just yesterday... that many of my blog heros are professional bloggers. I know, duh, right? But blogging isn't my full time job yet I hold myself to their standard. Some days I have to remind myself of my priorities, which right now include being a wife, a mom, a language student, and other writing jobs. I ask myself regularly if I am producing for my own satisfaction or if I am just running from one blog post to the next. I think it's good to evaluate ourselves along the way.

Your blog is so gorgeous and your beautiful spirit shines through! If you ask me, I think you are definitely doing something right!

[Heather]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts, your fears and your advice with me! I am overwhelmed by your reaction, by the fact that you come here and share yourselves with me. I feel honored and deeply gratified to be part of such an amazing community of women. I want to respond to each comment personally but it may take a couple of days. Thank you for your love, patience and support. I am loving this discussion!

[Ashley {Indie Pretty Projects}]

Thank you so much for posting this. This is quite how I have been feeling lately. It seems to be affecting my mood lately, too. I usually have so much to say through writing, and lately, I can't muster up much to say.

Normally I would have a lot to say on such a thoughtful, heart-felt post such as this, but all I can really say right now is thank you for your honesty, and you're not the only one.

[Heather]

Ashley,
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and say these things that you have struggled with too. Im sorry this is a hard time for you. I really understand coming from a place where I struggled for many months before beginning to believe in myself as valued. But know that you are valuable! Your presence here tonight brought me hope. Hugs! We are in it together!

[Down and Out Chic]

i have struggled over and over with comparing myself to others in blog land (or comparing my blog to others which sometimes feels one in the same). your honesty is refreshing.

[Stephanie Ryan]

Great post Heather. First, thank you for being so honest. I wonder the same thing when I visit my favorite blogs, they do seem to have it all together. I know that I DON"T! Life is life, it is full of struggles for most of us. I try to be very honest on my blog and appreciate when others do the same...like you. Gotta run... I am finally watching Eat, Pray, Love!!!!!

hugs.